The sense of urgency. Did I live, did I love, did I matter?
The other day I was reading a really amazing book by a (now) famous self-help coach called Brendon where he explains his adolescent life through this story. Now, we will talk more about the sense of urgency and why it is important.
So, Brendon was a regular guy living in Montana, USA, and he had a girlfriend who he really loved.
After they broke up, he had to move away somewhere to deal with that shit, you know how it is when your heart gets broken. You just want to run away and not deal with it. EVER!
So Brendon left for Dominica to work there for the summer.
One night he was driving with his friend and they were a bit speeding with Brendon being in the passenger seat. The car was going around 85 MpH and at the curve, they lost control and flipped the car from the mountain.
Brendon describes his thoughts in the process of the car flipping, how he started asking himself questions in those mere seconds before crashing down the hill.
The first questions he asked himself was „Did I live?“
Was he alive and vibrant, did he do all the things he wanted to do in his life?
Then he asked himself „Did I love?“
Was he the one who loved someone and did anyone love him. Who will miss him when he is gone and who will he miss?
And the last question was „Did I matter?“
Did he have a purpose, a legacy which he left behind, a certain message that will touch people’s hearts after he is gone?
Luckily, he survived all of this and later became known as Brendon Burchard, one of the top self-help coaches in the world.
Let’s move away from Brendon now and talk about us, regular Joe’s.
What about love life?
When you were reading his story and the questions, did you have the same feeling as I did? The feeling of life, matter, and purpose just gushing through the veins.
I know I did and it made me wonder what I was doing with my life, do I actually live my purpose as intended, every day of my life.
Am I mission-oriented in my life, discarding all the bullshit that happens around me (there is a lot of both in mine and in your life)?
Am I contributing to the society the way I want?
And the last question which I asked myself, something with which I struggle for ages is „Did I love?“
You see, personal development was in fact quite an easy thing to embrace for me. I managed to get out the comfort zone almost every day, doing all sorts of stuff to be free and to find myself.
But the one thing that always suffered was my love life. Not in the matter of having multiple girls and sex, but in relationships.
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
I was always the one who had the famous FOMO so I just went from girl to girl to girl, never being able to settle myself down with just one and seeing if a relationship can actually work.
My longest relationship was 2 months long and I was the one breaking up almost all of these. My last exit from the comfort zone is, in fact, an entrance into one.
It is an entrance to commitment, something I was kind of afraid to do. It is weird, I never thought of this before reading Brendon’s story. The questions „Did I love?“ got to me.
So now, on January the 9th, I will commit myself to a relationship with a girl who I really like and who likes me back.
Which of the questions really got to you? Did they help you to create your own sense of urgency? Share in the comments and I will answer it.
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