Definite Guide to Life Success for Millennials

Let’s look at life as a game, shall we?

And life is a game of 5 levels. You are the main character of the game and are born as a level 1 player.

The goal is to get to level 5 and stay there (yep, there are relegations).

The game that you play is ball juggling. And every level represents an additional ball that you need to juggle. The challenge is that every level has 2 balls and juggling one will bring you to the next level. Juggling the other one will stop you from advancing and it can relegate you back to the previous level.

 

definite guide to life for millenials - start position
1 game, 5 levels, 10 balls

 

You are born helpless and you are like that for most of your childhood. Sometimes you are born with a bigger or smaller level, depending on the way you were raised but we will talk about that later on.

Even though you don’t choose where you will spawn as a character and with what kind of skill set, mindset and background, you definitely choose where you will be at the end of the game.

And that is why I am writing this guide. So that we can go together on a journey called life. But to do that we need to:

  • figure out on which level we are now (how many balls do you juggle now)
  • what can we do about it
  • how are we gonna get to level 5

Here is just a quick recap of the levels so that you know what to expect further on:

  1. Level 1 is all about your character getting the baseline “drink water, eat food, breathe air. Oh and have sex”. Challenges on this level are life and death
  2. Level 2 is all about your character getting safety and social stability. Challenges on this level are scarcity and abundance
  3. Level 3 is all about love and belonging. Challenges on this level are emotional instability and self-development
  4. Level 4 is all about confidence, achievement, and accomplishment. Challenges on this level are Distractions and Solutions.
  5. Level 5 and the hardest level is all about self-actualization, acceptance, and fulfillment. This level is a mixture of 4 previous levels and vision for the future. Challenges on this level are mission-oriented life and brules.

If you were lucky, your parents provided Levels 1, 2, 3 and put you up on a trajectory to level 4. Usually, we are not that lucky and we are somewhere between level 2 and level 3 when starting our journey.

But let’s go through the categories in details and then you will figure out what level you are on and how to get to the next one.

 

Definite guide to life – Level 1

 

Definite guide to life for millennials - life and death
Level 1 – Life and Death

 

You are born as an infant here. And every one of us is born as a level 1 character. Every level has its needs, characteristics, and traits and it’s like that with level 1.

In this case, the bottom of our pyramid carries basic physiological needs, the things nobody can survive with.

Breathing, food, and water are our basic needs. At the start of our lives, we are merely infants which can’t do shit by themselves and have to rely on parents to provide us with these needs.

Later on, at around the age of 13, we get one more basic need on this level and that is the need to reproduce or to have sex. These 4 needs make level 1 and most of the world population has leveled up past this a loooooong time ago.

Or has it?

Today around 9% of world population lives in extreme poverty which means that around 700 million people live in conditions where you wonder if you’re gonna have the next meal or a cup of water. These people live every day with less than $1.90 which is on the verge of dying.

Your pet probably has better life conditions than little Fred in DR Kongo. And there, an average of 22 000 kids die almost every day, far away from civilization, media or your eyes. But it still happens.

And since we humans are programmed this way, most of you (including me) will kind of like not give a shit about this info and 700 million people. But we will care about a single person.

So I will just share a small story from Scott who spoke at an event.

 

Story about Letekiros

 

“On a trip to Ethiopia last year I learned about this women called Letekiros,” he tells them. “I actually never met her. She lived 10 years ago. I was in a crappy $6 hotel room and the innkeeper came up and said:

“You’re the Charity Water people. We know what you’ve been doing here. Let me tell you a story about this woman who lived in my village when I was young.

She used to walk 8 hours a day.

Three hours out and five hours back. She didn’t have a yellow jerry can. She had this clay pot. Which weighs 10-15 pounds empty. Then you put another 30 pounds of water in it.

The water had dried up on her land. She couldn’t move because she lived off the land. So she walked.

Eight hours.

One day she came back to the village after her walk. She slipped and fell. The clay pot broke. And all the water spilled out.

She took a rope out and she hung herself from the tree in the middle of the village.”

The innkeeper let that sit.

He said, “What you guys are doing is important,” and he walked off.

Level 1
“And then Letekiros hung herself”

 

And now we care about those 700 million people. Because we care about Letekiros.

But poverty is not the topic today so let’s move on.

 

You need to conquer level 1 to be able even to play the game because you can’t survive without these elements. Since most of the people in the Western world have these needs meet and have passed level 1, let’s move on to the next level.

Level 1
Juggling Life

 

Definite guide to life – level 2

 

Level 2
Looking for a job/wealth/relationship

 

The fact that you passed level 1 doesn’t mean that you got rid off it perfectly. Remember, I told you about relegation.

Look at these levels as juggling balls. Conquering level 1 means that you can successfully juggle with 1 ball and now you can add another one to try juggling 2 balls at the same time.

So what do we have at level 2?

 

Level 2 brings out the needs for health, social security, stability, peace, private property and security of employment.

At this level, it is important to get skills and knowledge which will solve our problems of employment, stability, and security. And on top of that, we got the needs from level 1.

But hey, those are easier to get in our world where you just go to the supermarket while some Syrian children run through bombardment to get food and water.

Considering the way we were raised and how today’s world changes super fast, we have a lot of us stuck here. Or we are afraid to lose the things accumulated on this level.

You know, when you get the job and then cling to it as it’s the last job on Earth. Yeah.

 

You see, that happens because of the paradigms (a fancy word) in which we were raised and believe to be in.

So what the fuck is a paradigm.

A paradigm is an assumption, rule or framework which we take as truth to simplify our understanding of the world.

And I tell you about paradigms because most of us have a fucked up paradigm at this level.

Level 2
Abundance and Scarcity

 

The 2 paradigms are:

Scarcity

Abundance

 

Scarcity

 

Scarcity
There is never enough!

Scarcity paradigm puts us in a mental state of never having enough because we seem used to the fact there is always something missing.

Constant repetition of this paradigm in our childhood and early adulthood brings us into this paradigm.

Here our character starts looking the world as a zero-sum game. Which means that our character looks at the world as either a win or a loss. If someone is winning, someone else is losing. And the sum of all of those wins and losses equals 0.

The total sum can never be increased because the world is always in balance. Which means that if I win here, someone else is losing out there.

And we can find this kind of mentality in almost all of our areas of life and society in general.

So let’s see how this influences you in everyday life

 

Wealth scarcity

If you were raised in a house where money is always a problem, where you can’t earn more than $1500 and that is fixed for the rest of your life, well imagine what kind of attitude towards money will you have?

And this type of attitude will stop you from asking for that raise that you deserve. This will stop you charging a fair price for your product or service. Heck, you might even give it for free.

The scarcity paradigm in wealth is so widespread that there are so many gurus out there with products which solely focus on breaking down these limiting beliefs.  

I will not even mention those guys who say that it’s all rigged and that you can’t win the game of money (conspiracy theorists).

 

Job scarcity

I used to see this non-stop when I was conducting interviews as HR. You see people who come with a mindset “What I can take away from this”. It’s like as if we owed them something for just showing up for the interview.

And this comes from the mindset of the scarcity of jobs. They believe that they are siphoning value from a company by being on the payroll. And if you lose that, guess what? You are on the streets with no other options. Because getting a job means so much work, effort and having a connection here or there.

This is learned from the generation of parents (baby boomers) where you had a job with the same company for 20+ years.

Luckily this is starting to change with Gen Y but more on that later.

 

Relationship scarcity

“There is only one special person for you!”
“Just find someone who completes you”
“He/She is the only one for me”

 

This topic could be a separate article all by itself. When you believe that there is only one person out there for you, you fall into the trap of relationship scarcity.

Because guess what, when you get that girl or guy, then you cling to them with all of your weight and try not to lose them. This starts the cycle of neediness which in fact turns your relationship into shit.

And voilà, you get a breakup. Then you feel like shit for years and years. Because you didn’t set your standards for love. You believe it is just this girl/guy and that is it. FOREVER. That is not how love functions.

Sorry, that was a lie. That is how love functions. In MOVIES.

A relationship comes as a must because otherwise, you will be alone for the rest of your life. You have no idea how you even got this one. And you want me to think that I can have it otherwise? No mister.

Well, we will see how to fix this by changing our paradigm. And to what other than

Abundance

 

Level 2
Scarcity vs. Abundance

 

Abundance paradigm looks at the world like a wonderful place where there is more than enough of everything. And you have the option of choosing in the world of abundance.

The best thing is that the losses of current reality don’t sting that hard because there are multiple options. You get to choose an even better option than the one you did previously. Let’s see what this means to you as a character in the game called life.

 

You are looking at the world through the eyes of a win-win situation, as the founder of today’s economics, Adam Smith would say back in 1776:

“When a landlord, a weaver, or a shoemaker has greater profits than he needs to maintain his own family, he uses the surplus to employ more assistants, in order to further increase his profits. The more profits he has, the more assistants he can employ. It follows that an increase in the profits of private entrepreneurs is the basis for the increase in collective wealth and prosperity.”

My profit is your profit (win-win situation).

Not only can we both enjoy a bigger slice of pie at the same time, but the increase in your slice depends upon the increase in my slice.

If I am poor, you too will be poor since I cannot buy your products or services. If I am rich, you too will be enriched since you can now sell me something.

And the surplus, called the capital, is reinvested back again to make the pie bigger. And then the surplus from that, which is bigger than the last time, is reinvested back again (scientific research, development, automation, technology etc.) to make the pie bigger.

This can go on indefinitely. And the greatest thing is that when the pie grows bigger, everyone profits from that!

 

Thanks Bruno for the lesson from the history books, but tell me how this affects my everyday life?

I thought you were never gonna ask.

 

Wealth abundance

“There is a limit on how much you can save, but not a limit on how much you can earn” – Ramit Sethi

 

It brings me joy to look at the way the world works today. The age of technology, the internet, and social media has made every single one of us a source of news, information, stories and value providers.

Using YouTube to show your masterful skills to the world, or having a blog where you help people become the version of themselves, or influencing the market through your Facebook posts. These are just some of the possibilities we have today.

And thanks to the accessibility of today’s world, we have the option to touch so many lives, provide value and solve problems.

Job abundance

Each and every one of you has the ability already to solve a certain problem (just ask your friends or better yet, for what kind of problem do your friends call you for you to solve it), you just need to figure out a way how to send it to the entire world.

And that became possible today. For you to be able to live in a small apartment somewhere in Nicaragua and make thousands of dollars from people all over the world by helping them have an “Ultimate Disney World Adventure for a Fraction of What They Would Usually Pay”  (this is a legit business, I double checked it with Ramit Sethi).

There is no big guy out there who will stop you from having an online business or working additionally as a freelancer. That just won’t happen. It is all up to you to pick yourself up, plan what you wanna do and do then do it.

The money is out there and people will pay for providing value.

The money is out there and people will pay for providing value.

I wrote that sentence twice because that was the biggest struggle for me when switching to abundance paradigm. So yeah, I don’t want you to have the same problems, just learn from mine.

Trust me, it’s easier.

And while we are at the trust, let’s see what happens with relationships when you are in the abundance paradigm.

 

Relationship abundance

When you realize that the world is an abundant place and that there is a lot of girls/guys out there, you will blow your mind.

Level 2
Only a measly 80 000 people

 

So this means you will meet around 80 000 people in your entire lifetime. But in reality, what is 80 000 people. Almost nothing compared to the world population of 7.5 billion people.

That is 0.0011% of world population you will meet in your lifetime. And then we have mainstream media tell us that there is just 1 person meant for us in the entire world.

 

The abundance mindset in relationships is based on interdependency. That means that you know who you are, you pursue your own life’s passion and can function by yourself.
Only then do you have someone who accompanies you on the way and brings something extra (synergistic effect of 1+1=3).

And you, since you know yourself, know what you search for in a relationship. There are certain standards that need to be followed through for a relationship to blossom. And if that person doesn’t want to do it, then there are others who will.

The topic of relationships deserves an article by itself and will be covered soon.

 

But now, let’s get back to the topic of scarcity and abundance. Only when you switch to abundance paradigm will you be able to fully master level 2 and move on to level 3.

Level 2
Abundance wins

And abundance and scarcity will follow you through all of the levels beyond so it’s not something only limited to level 2.

 

Definite guide to life – Level 3

Level 3
Emotional Instability and Self-Development

If you come from an emotionally strong and stable family, then the baseline for your level 3 is already well formed. But this is rarely the case in today’s world.

Level 3 adds up another ball to juggle and brings its own problems, worries and needs.

The needs of level 3 and level 4 differentiate from level 1 and 2. The first two levels contain our basic needs, but levels 3 and 4 contain our psychological needs.
That means that we “can live” without them but in that case, our life would be hollow and empty, filled with emotional instability and meaningless in its core. It wouldn’t be a life worth living.

Level 3
Smart guy

The needs our character has to master on this level are friendship, family, intimate relationships, sense of belongingness.

Now look back at the first sentence in this heading where I talked about families. Our needs at level 3 are emotional and sociological and are mostly formed by the experiences in our youth. And who has the biggest influence on us at that time?

Yep, you guessed that right. Your parents.

So let us go into the “How We Become Our Parents” science.

Learning through osmosis

So there are multiple ways you can learn. Auditory, visual, kinesthetic and reading/writing ways. But this is not the main point. There is one more learning style which is not discussed as much and we need to emphasize on it.

It is called learning through osmosis. 

Learning through osmosis is an analogy for a natural, organic and indirect way of learning. This means that you learn through immersion and exposure. This process is gradual and unconscious and it takes time.

And here is an example:

Imagine that you are born in Norway. You have one older sister and two parents, both Norwegians who live and work their entire lives in Norway. And at the age of 4, you start speaking. What language do you speak?

Swahili! 

Of course not. You will speak Norwegian. But why? Your parents didn’t sit down with you to teach you Norwegian? So why did yo learn how to speak Norwegian and not Swahili?

Because of learning through osmosis.

You heard it every single day for years, even when not directly spoken to you. Overhearing it when you sister was talking to her friends or when your parents were discussing the latest fashion or movies.

You were just in the room, innocently playing around with your toys while someone was talking in your presence. And that is how you learned the language. Congratulations!

 

So now you figured out how learning through osmosis works, let’s see how this relates to emotional and social needs.

 

Gods

When you are just a baby and a kid, your perception is limited. You can’t perceive a lot of things and you are not independent.

So you rely on your parents to do things for you. They feed you, provide shelter, clothes, and comfort. They also provide you emotional support (or should). You perceive them as Gods and believe that every single adult behaves like that.

You perceive everything they do as the way every single person on the Earth behaves.

So when osmosis kicks in (and it’s always on), you start to emulate and copy the behavior of your parents. Because you know, if the Gods are doing it, then it must be true and correct!

So if the parents are not congruent (they tell you one thing, but do something else), you will most certainly do as they do not as they speak. Because we learn by imitation. Imitation or law of social contagion tells us that when we have no idea what to do, we copy from those that we think to know what to do.

So who do you copy from in that age? From Gods of course!

You start to copy the way they behave towards each other, towards you, towards your sister, neighbor, and other people.

And you take this in, store it deep in you as the source code and carry living the rest of your life according to the “rules” you learned when you were just a baby. You are like molten glass at that age, imprinting everything you see, hear and feel into yourself.

Parenting

 

So if your father showed you that it’s okay to drink all day long and curse at your children, guess what you will learn is the right thing to do. Drink and curse at your kids all day long.

If you mother showed you that it’s okay to be a drug addict or use emotional blackmail (Mommy will love you only if you _____________ (insert whatever you want here).

By “showing you it’s okay” I mean to tell you that they just did it in front of you and nothing else. They even might tell you that it’s wrong to do it (and most of them do) but remember, you learn from imitation and osmosis.

If mommy and daddy do this enough times, you will learn it, imprint it in your source code and implement it for the rest of your life.

Level 3
The chain of imitation

This doesn’t only happen to bad people. It happens to good people as well. Good people with good intentions can become toxic parents.  

Overprotective and you become dependent forever, under protective and you become dangerous with no limits.

If you lacked love as a child, you will have problems establishing and maintaining relationships in the future.

If you had conditioned love, you will always have the feeling of not being enough and you will have to prove yourself over and over.

Conditioned love also goes like this “If you do X, we will love you. If you do anything other than X, we will no longer love you.” And here is a sad example of that, a person who I know who went through this.

And that is how we become the spitting image of our parents.  


VERY IMPORTANT THING 

“You parents are responsible for all the bad stuff from childhood,

but they are also responsible for everything good – so remember that”


Level 3
Forgive them. Sooner the better

Don’t go bashing your parents because of this. They are people as well and they made mistakes. Some more, some less and you turned out they way you have.

But there is a way out. There is a way you can solve the problems cause in your childhood. And it begins with

 

Self-development

 

The first step is always to realize that there is a problem. Since we figure that out in the last part, now it’s time to see how we can fix this.

So we identified that we have problems now, but we need to pinpoint where we formed them in the past.

Because it is always a thing of the long gone past, especially from early childhood and teenage years. Childhood is our formative time where our character is formed. This is where we are most susceptible to influence and where early trauma occurs.

Why do we have to do this?

Because we need to see that event without biases and figure out a way on how to look at it from a different angle. And by this, I mean that we need to see what happened, but not how we interpreted it.

Level 3
Smart guy

 

So when you get back to the event and relive it in your head, you can change the meaning it had on you. Because the trauma is in the meaning, not in the event itself.

And here is an example:

Imagine you walk into a bank. And there are 50 people inside the bank with you. A robber comes inside the bank. And he is carrying a guy yelling to everyone:

“This is a robbery. Everyone down on the floor!”

But he accidentally fires a shot from the pistol. But luckily, the security guard jumps on him from behind and manages to cuff him. Alas, the robbery stopped and it all ended well.

But that bullet. That one single bullet hit you in your hand.

 

So the question is, is this a positive or a negative experience for you.

 

Taking the analogy from the top, what happened is that you got shot in the hand. And you can’t change that.

But there’s a world of difference between the perceptions of this event.

You can perceive it as the worst possible thing that happened to you because you got shot. The bullet didn’t go into the ceiling, the floor, the walls or to someone else. It hit you.

Or

You can perceive it as the best possible thing that happened to you because you could have died in that moment but you didn’t. You could’ve been hit in the head, heart or an artery and just died. And you didn’t. It is a miracle that showed me how live needs to be lived fully because you never know, tomorrow could be the last day.

 

So we take this approach of reframing stuff that happened in our past where we distance the “what happened” with “how we perceived it”. This takes a lot of balls and a lot of work.

Dealing with these kinds of emotions tears you down over and over. This is why people go to therapy for things like this.

I did this without a therapist and it took me years of hard work, balls to face myself, my family and my past. But it was worth it.

Because when the walls are down, you feel alive. You are no longer burdened by your past, by the expectations from someone else, by the way, you should live, feel or do. In smashing those walls, you find your true self, your authentic self.

I urge you to do this. You can use professional help, friends or organizations which help you develop yourself.

This is a journey that lasts forever because you can never be the best version of yourself. But you can come close.

And one day, when you get children, you will be thankful that you fixed your problems from the past. Because they will imitate you and your emotional state.

Then you will be grateful for that. And when you start this journey and figure out how to be emotionally stable, you will add one more ball to juggle.

Level 3
Self-Development wins

Which will bring you to the next level.

 

Definite guide to life – level 4

 

At level 4 we have needs of esteem, achievement, uniqueness, respect from others, prestige.

Now we came to the part of juggling balls, where if you can master this one, we tend to tell you that you have succeeded in life. This is the dream and a chasing happiness in the Western world.

This is where you have it all. Money, career, success, family life, awe, and admiration of everyone around you. But as you already know, it takes a lot of effort, knowledge, and skill to juggle 3 balls and then you have to add a fourth one as well.

Here we see the major problems in balance of first 3 levels with level 4. This level requires a lot of effort, work and willingness to give up on a lot of stuff. If you work 15 hours a day and leave your wife and kids emotionally neglected, then you have dropped a ball.

But there is a way we can juggle 4 balls at the same time. But we need to take a simple re-approach to life.

Level 4
Solutions and Distractions

 

There are two ways of dealing with life problems

1. Distractions

2. Solutions

So let us see them in details to figure out how we can juggle 4 balls at the same time.

 

Distractions

 

Level 4
Distractions

 

You are sitting at work and your boss comes to your desk. He calls you up to come into his office.

You start talking and he tells you:

“Look, John, you are a great employee.

You always come on time, help others and do the work on time.

People love you here.

But we no longer need your services. You see, we have automated your work and it’s now gonna be done by AI robot.

We are so sorry about this.

I really hope that you will find a great place.”

 

And you get fired. So what do you do? You go to the nearby bar and get hammered. The drinks keep pouring into you and you get shitfaced.

Remember anything? Nope. Cool.

And I would do the same thing (and have)… Once

 

The problem occurs when this behavior continues for the next months and years so that you end up on a bench with nothing more than a New York Times newspaper to cover you up.

And that, my friend, are called Distractions.

 

Distractions are our way of “dealing” with problems by not dealing with problems. We think that drinking it out will solve the problem. That somehow magically a new job will just fall from the sky.

So you indulge in Distractions, numbing yourself so that the pain can be bearable. Or you try to ignore the problem totally, hoping that it will disappear from your radar or totally.

And that never happens, because you know, problems don’t just disappear.

We do this because we believe that we have no control over the problems in our lives. But the harsh truth is that we do have the control. We are the ones that got ourselves into the problems and we need to be the ones who will get us out.

There are situations which you can’t control, but you can control the way that you experience them

Level 4
He said this as a prisoner in Auschwitz

 

If we believe that we can change something about the situation, we usually do (remember the scarcity and abundance paradigm). But if we think that we are powerless, we indulge in Distractions non-stop.

And after using Distractions for some time, they become easier to do. And at some point, those Distractions become habits, Bad Habits.

But enough talk about Distractions, let’s see how we can use Solutions to move our life forward.

 

Solutions

Level 4
Stop complaining

 

Solutions are ways we deal with our life problems and to prevent them from happening in the future. There is a great phrase here:

“Kill the monster while it’s little.” – Tony Robbins

 

Look at your life using metacognition, or in simple words observe your thoughts and feelings. See where they are stopping you or putting you in a scarcity mindset.

When you identify them, you can attack them and solve the root of your Distraction behavior. This will both solve the current problems and kill the root of future problems.

 

But first things first, you need to stop complaining about shit. Nobody cares about that and you don’t solve anything by complaining.

It just puts you in the Victim mode and blocks your brain from working on Solutions (because you spend all of your time and energy complaining).

When you shift from Victim mode (98% of world population lives here) to Personal Responsibility mode, then you will take your life in your hands. Because that is the time when you realize that only you can solve the problems in your life and nobody else.

There won’t be a savior coming to rescue you. You are the savior. Stop waiting for Godot

So you start using Solutions.

And after using Solutions for some time, they become easier to do. And at some point, those Solutions become habits, Good Habits.

 

Here is how to do it.

 

Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence

Level 4
You are in the middle

 

So when you figure out there is a problem in your life, put it in the circle. See if it’s something that falls under your Circle of Influence or your Circle of Concern.

If it’s Circle of Influence, it means you can solve it immediately.

If it’s Circle of Concern, it means you can solve it later and you shouldn’t bother to think about it now.

Most of the people live in Circle of Concern which stops them from using Solutions. They are reactive to the environment. And that reaction decreases their Circle of Influence.

Level 4
Circle of Concern

 

When you use Solutions, you focus on the things you can fix at this moment. You put all of your attention, focus and energy on things you can influence. You use Solutions and therefore you increase your Circle of Influence.

When you act proactively, your environment reacts and changes according to you. That, in turn, increases your Circle of Influence and helps you solve the problems which were before in the Circle of Concern.

Level 4
Circle of Influence

 

A lot of time you won’t know all the steps necessary to achieve something. That is fine.

You only need to know the next step.

Imagine going from Los Angeles to New York by car and it’s night time non-stop. You don’t have a map.  But what you do have is a road which goes somewhere on East.

You take it, even though you have no idea where and when you need to turn later on. But what you do know is the next 100 meters in front of you where your lights are pointing. 

You know the next step. And every step, no matter how small it is, brings you to the next one and the next one and eventually you will reach New York.

 

If you want to get a wife and have kids, start by approaching one girl.

If you want to be a best-selling author, start by writing 100 words.

Or as a smart man once said.:

“Want to change the world? Start by making your bed every day.” – William H. McRaven

Level 4
The Kaizen way

 

When you master Solutions in life, you master the art of juggling 4 balls at the same time. 

Level 4
Level 4

But there is one more level left and you wonder what it is?

The best is saved for the last.

 

Definite guide to life – level 5

 

Level 5
The art of science called Life

 

Finally, we came to the end. We covered the need for food, water, air, and sex at level 1. Went through scarcity and abundance paradigms at level 2. Figured out our fucked up emotions on level 3. Absorbed the way of life through Distractions and Solutions.

Now it’s time to transcend all of this through the needs of self-actualization, achievement of full potential, mission-oriented life, legacy.

To explain this in the easiest possible way, I have to show you a quote I recently read on the most shared Medium post that goes:

The definition of hell:

“On your last day on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.” – Anonymous

Self-actualization

 

You appear to have it all. Great job, money, family, looks. Everything. Neighbors envy you, coworkers want to be you, everyone else just wants to hang around you.

But there is something missing. Something just keeps bugging your head. And it won’t let go.

And it is the question

“Is this all there is to life?”

Level 5
Level 5

So you start to dig deep in you. You start to find out places which you didn’t even know existed. And it gives you clarity. Because finally, after all these years, you figure out what you were created to do you.

You find your purpose of life. Your vision. And it usually hides in the darkest places of your soul. In those moments that you wish would rather never happened.

But going into them, figuring them out and reframing them releases a reward. And that reward is your purpose.

What you were created to do.

You see, in Victim phase life happens to you.

In Personal Responsibility phase life happens from you.

But at the Purpose phase life happens through you.

 

At this point, you realize that your life isn’t, in fact, your life. But it’s a life of your purpose. You were created or better yet, you are just a container through which your purpose will be fulfilled.

Something divine, something that we can’t understand gave each and every one of us a unique purpose. And it is our job and the purpose of our entire lives to live through that purpose.

 

For us to live that purpose, we first need to figure out 2 more things.

Vision and Mission.

 

Vision and Mission

It all starts with why. You found your purpose in the past but now you need to see to what it corresponds in the future.

The idea of the future world that you have in your head is your vision. You imagine from the heart what kind of future you would like to live in. It is something you would live for. And then it is all about figuring out the steps on getting to it.

You remember how earlier I said that you don’t need to know all of your steps, you just need to know the starting position, the end position, and the next step.

It is the same here. You know where you are (you did self-reflection at level 3), you know where you are going (vision for the future), now you just need to figure out the path towards it.

That path is your mission. Your mission is the things that you do today to accomplish your vision.

 

Mission-Oriented Life

 

When you live your life in a mission-oriented way, that means that every single day you work on achieving your vision.

It means that you are on that path and there is an alignment of every single thing you do with your mission. You don’t do things which are not helping you achieve your vision.

You are truly and purposefully living your life trying to accomplish the one thing for which you were picked by the Universe/God/Higher Force.

But this is easier said than done. You tend to get a lot of resistance when trying to live a mission oriented life. Because that means a different path, a way of life which is not conservative or “normal”. A way of life which is not approved by your friends, family or society in which you live.

But you persevere since that is the only thing that can make you fulfilled.

There are a lot of things that can make you happy, but not a lot of things that can make you fulfilled. Fulfillment is about service to something larger than you.

To lead a mission oriented life means to break a lot of brules.

BRULE = Bullshit rule

Brules are bullshit rules that we adopted to simplify the world around us. These rules usually concern false beliefs which dictate what is right or wrong, true or false, in areas like love, work, education, spirituality, religion etc.

You will notice what are brules of your society and start to change them. You will realize that all of these rules were created by people no smarter than you. And at that moment you will experience epiphany! The same one Steve Jobs when he said this.

Level 5
Life can be much broader once you discover this simple fact.

Living your purpose will give you fulfillment but it will also bother plenty of people. Be prepared for that but I can tell you that it’s a path worth taking.

Because at the end of your life, you will look back and have the feeling of

Legacy

 

It’s a sunny morning. You stand up, stretch and prepare yourself a coffee. You take your coffee out to the porch, sit down on your favorite chair and look at the sun while having a sip.

You start thinking about life. About all the things that you did back when you were younger. When you discovered yourself, found a great partner, had amazing kids, got a great job and then left it to pursue a silly dream.

And that silly dream which only lived in your head became a reality. Not just for you, but for everyone around you.

Level 5
You win

You gaze out to the open field and no longer hear restlessness of your heart. It is calm because you followed it. The mind is quite, the heart is calm and the dream came true.

You made a dent in the universe.

Level 5
Yep, that’s you over there making an impact

 

Conclusion

 

By now, you understand all 5 levels and can figure out your position. You understand what needs to be done to transform your life and are willing to do it.

This guide served as a walkthrough and will help you make the right decisions in life.

Decisions based on life, abundance, self-development, Solutions and vision for the future instead of death, scarcity, emotional instability, Distractions and brules.

And sometimes in the future, looking back to your life, you will ask yourself

“Was it a life worth living?”

And your answer will depend on the decisions you do today.

So what’s it gonna be?

Tell me about this in comments and share with your friends.

 

Cheers,
-Bruno

 


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Recent Comments

Bruno Written by:

A habit builder who reads books and writes every day. I am passionate about self-development and my friends consider me an endless source of solutions for their problems.

7 Comments

  1. June 18, 2017
    Reply

    Hey Bro,

    Nice one you are already on the way to the top with this kind of thinking.
    Hmm, after I analized all the things in the text above, I´m maybe already on the 4th level.

    Wish me luck to get to the 5th level.
    See you soon.

    Have a nice rest of the weekend,

    • Bruno
      June 18, 2017
      Reply

      Hey Kićo,

      Nice job man. Keep it up to lvl 5 and enjoy your weekend.

      Cheers,

      -Bruno

  2. Marilyn
    July 12, 2017
    Reply

    Wow Bruno Thankful for your information. I have started writing for my end product will help my daughter and grand-daughter experience what my Mom was to me. My Mom passed on September 1978 and my daughter was born May of 1979. Because breast cancer has a history in my family my story is focused on the love and health for these extremely important ladies in my life. Step by step I will continue on my path. I’m thankful I’ve met you and will continue to learn, grow,and share☯️

    • Bruno
      July 12, 2017
      Reply

      Hi Marilyn,

      Sorry to hear about your mother.

      Keep up writing for your daughter and grand-daughter and pass on an amazing experience that you had with your mother.

      Love and health all the way 🙂

  3. September 12, 2017
    Reply

    Hey Bruno. These ideas I’ve been thinking about. I am a certified life coach practitioner as of 2015. Always looking how to incorporate these life long learning experiences for future services. Thanks for your clear and sensible writings. Let’s keep connected. Thx

    • Bruno
      September 12, 2017
      Reply

      Hey Marilyn,

      Cool thing to hear 😀

      I hope that your business is going well. If you have any recommendations or proposals for a cooperation, I am open to it.

      Cheers,

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